Issues Involving Others

Q. I am always depressed and stressed. I find myself judging people all the time. What can I do?

A. Firstly, resolve that these things cause you suffering. There is no separate subject and object in the mind – the state of judgement is what you are going through – it’s the same wether it is about you or someone else! Then, be the “you” that is unchanging as all feelings within, these judgments occur. Slowly realise they are not you in their entirety but something that arises in you that you can observe Let them be even don’t – be what is mindful of both! Focus on being the “you” is aware of them still and is unmoved by them. If you did this more and more, you’ll begin to realise the bliss within.

Q. I often feel like seeking retribution against those that have done wrong. Is this normal?

A. You do so to find peace, but peace is not to found in doing things to others. One may do as they wish but then you enter the world of mind based karma where all actions draw consequences and only the most powerful will win. As no person is omnipresent, no person is beyond consequences.

Distance yourself from those that cause you harm if you can. They are their own victims. Witness and observe these feelings and intentions of retribution be that which remains constant within understand they are not the real you, as such give them the freedom to be. If you practice this, bliss will come.

Q. I am always looking for acceptance on the outside. When I get it, I often don’t want it. What can I do?

A. This is a brain state of simple striving. You are addicted to the seeking of acceptance from others, and this desire has its own power. Observe it. Realise you can always be mindful of it. Simply be the which is as it occurs and allow is to unfold — that which witnesses it and is aware of it occurring. As time goes on, the bliss you realise will be all the acceptance and love you require. It comes from, and is tuned into from, within; no person can match its power.

Q. Everyone around me annoys me. How can I each this bliss?

A. Everyone around you does not annoy you. The annoyance is in you – a neurological reaction in your mind that you see as the total unchangeable reality.  Yet, you are aware of it are you not? You can hold anything up to this mindfulness or awareness! Stay as what is conscious of the annoyance. There you shall find bliss; then being annoyed or not may still happen, but it will seem petty and irrelevant in comparison!

Q. I lack confidence in social situations. How do I overcome this lack of confidence?

A. Again, this is just a pattern. Observe as it comes up stay as the allower, the detached witness and that which is unmoved and aware of it. As you do, changes in your brain and mind occur. As your experience of this deepens there is infinite love, strength, and confidence unaffected by anything relative. It just won’t matter about this lack of confidence there or not; bliss will be there.

Q. What is the ideal way to be with others in social situations?

A. Let your relationship with yourself emanate outwards. Come from that awareness, and later than bliss that is absolutely untethered to the outside world. Find it in yourself, and it will spread through all you do.
There’s no need for complex theories, scripts and ways to be; it’s natural, fun, and flowing.

Q. I have issues when people are personal towards me. It could be that they have called me names to others, when they remove me off Facebook, or just exhibit unkind, unthoughtful behaviour. Why?

A. The truth is this again — these issues are in your consciousness. No matter what you are called, you are aware. Focus there and that is freedom.  Remember, this is not some goal to be achieved by the objects of your consciousness conforming to a gold standard to make you feel something or give you something. Not some case of everyone needs to revere you or think you are perfect  but rather a goal of nothing  disturbing  your peace and that can’t happen until your peace is entirely generated from within. Love it all and accept it all, or don’t,  focus being that which is aware of both. Practice and peace will come and flow outwards from you.

Q. I really fear people not liking me. I try and best my best with everyone but get really disappointed if I put a foot wrong. How can I stop this?

A. No, what you fear is this — your own mind. You fear the feelings, the thoughts, and the chemical reactions caused by anything outside of you. You want to be liked because it feels nice, you only need your own peace. You are trying to make perfection and become upset that perfection cannot be achieved. The perfection is in both sides of the coin. The perfection is in the shear imperfection.  You are aware of your fears, the fears are relative, they are observable. Practice being that which allows/is aware/is conscious of all else, and  you’ll tune into bliss. What anyone thinks or feels about you, will no longer threaten you.

Q. I find I am easily offended by people. Why?

A. This is your brains absorption in the relative, observable, as the total reality. This would not cause you so much bother if you experienced the bliss of the absolute, by being that which observes all else.
Personal interactions are often very temporary. When you begin to experience the absolute you, your experience begins to expand outwards to something that’s always there and you become more absorbed in the bliss of that.

Q. How do I truly be at ease with others and truly be myself with them?

A. It must begin with your own relationship. Know the real you first. Experience it and the rest will take care of itself.

Q. I experience bliss, but get nasty thoughts about others. Does this mean I have more work to do?

A. Observe these thoughts and the worry from the standpoint of the real you that does not change. When your mind  always stays in the alpha/theta frequency, every thought will be seen to be of it, and pure bliss will be permanent.

Q. Any tips to aid social interaction?

A. What occurs in the relative effects social interaction. If you are  tuned into bliss what occurs in the relative takes care of itself.
So, work on your relationship with yourself — tune into bliss within — and realise it is that relationship that flows outwards from the bliss of being.  That bliss will be there no matter what goes on with others. Identify with it , absorb in that, be that bliss rather than what being absorbed, worried about, and identifying with what occurs in the relative.

As you tune into bliss, you’ll help others tune in to it as well just by being around you.