The Relative You

Q. What is the relative “me”?

A. It is whatever is observable within.

Q. What is wrong with experiencing oneself, as the relative alone?

A. Nothing at all! All we are talking about here is a shift in brainwaves. If one solely experiences the relative as the absolute reality, things can be absolutely fine, but also there can be many problems — it depends on the person. Stress, fear, weakness, anxiety, hate, despair, desire, guilt, conditional/circumstantial happiness and seeking fulfilment via outside objects may occur. This is what I call the experience of the false absolute. The relative appears to the experiencer to be all there is. One can, however, with practice, shift the brainwaves to experience bliss.

The experience is one of total relaxation, courage, strength, confidence, love, peace, satisfaction, innocence and non-conditional/circumstantial happiness. Of course, all those are relative terms. Imagine all of them together in one feeling and experience that is the same, yet always changing and always constant, but never stale.

The world is highly relative and unstable made up of many objects, interacting with each other; if one experiences themselves as the relative alone, it is no surprise that suffering comes and peace of mind that lasts is hard to come by.

Q. Are all interpretations relative?

A. Yes, even that one! Objectively, the bliss of the absolute depends on nothing. The relative you gets precious about its path and wants to debate semantics. I have seen hundreds of paths and hundreds of explanations. They could be debated and argued for millennia and yet the absolute remains as the source of them all, unchanged, and blissful. Arguing, discussing semantics, and finding interpretations are pointless. Not one person, however adept or however great, has ever been accurately able to describe it in the relative because it is there and that which allows that explanation and relative to be. As soon as we try and define it, we wrap ourselves up in the relative again and move out of the brainwave state we are trying to articulate. Experience the bliss of the absolute within, that is real knowledge.

Q. What should one do with the relative?

A. Well I worked and worked to polish it, become more and more loving, more humble, kinder, and realised no one made me feel or think anything but me, practiced unconditional love. So, of course, you can do that first. Is it necessary? I don’t know. It worked for a while, but things got really better for me when, in terms of its content, I left it as it was. I moved to using the relative “me” to find, focus, and be the absolute “me” that unchanged despite all the changes in the relative. Over time, there came bliss and when that is there, the relative flows naturally.

So I’d suggest trying that unless one wants to deepen the energy and illusion of the relative characterised by the beta brainwave state. It is often mistaking the content of the observed, relative for having anything to do with the experience of the observer, the absolute, that can be a big part of a person’s problem. Yes, you can be in a bad mood and, in bliss, you can be sensitive and in bliss. The two things – the bliss of the absolute and the relative are entirely separate — but from one and the same just like you can see and hear at the same time.

Remember, the relative can be as it wishes. Nothing that it is or throws up really affects the bliss of the absolute “you” besides the mistaken notion that it does and absorption in the relative as all there is as itself.

In other words, only the relative can appear to obscure the absolute, but really what obscures the absolute is the relative absorbing in itself as itself. So, too, the relative trying to change the relative, absorbed in itself can appear to obscures the bliss of the absolute more of the same. No matter how good it is, it is still the relative and can never be close to bliss.

So, I’d say there is no need to change what is relative besides in seeing the futility of doing so. Instead, use your time and effort to use the relative, the mind, to practice being that which remains unmoved by the relative – that which allows it, is aware of it or exists in spite of the relative. The “you” to which all this happens. Practice being that and bliss will come. Go to that root and then the relative will take care of itself.

Q. Can you give me a real world example of seeing the word through the relative energy of the mind?

A. You are reading a Twitter feed and a person is calling people that hate homosexuals “fucking bigots.”Of course, this aim is to create a better world, one of tolerance and equality. The “biggot’s” aim is to have a better world by eliminating homosexuality. Now the problem here is lack of tolerance and equality within each individual. So, in one way, the person calling the other a “fucking biggot” is being hypocritical as they are being hateful and discriminating even though their position is arguably far more in the name of equality and harmony than that of the  biggot. Yet if yo, then hate him for that stance so are you being hypocrisy and hate, too, and become part of the same problem. So, it’s impossible to get involved in the relative game if you are absorbed in it without losing to some degree right away and becoming part of the very same problem – that of hate arising in you!

So, instead the answer is not to try and create tolerance and equality on the outside, but to create true tolerance and equality within, which is where all of us need to produce it in order to produce it on the outside world.

That which is true equality – true tolerance – has no relative and no opposite; it is the absolute “you.” One can only be that, experience that. It cannot be done with the mind alone as it is, which is a relative instrument but only be experiencing that which allows the mind to be by using the mind to find it and practice being it.

Q. When one experiences the absolute you, how does this differ from many other ways of viewing the world?

A.  Many ways if viewing the world are actually absorbed in subtle polarisations (or sometimes not so subtle polarisations) of the world and almost all are done in the name of “good.” They all hinge on something relative. So as soon as we create believers, the non believers are somehow wrong. If we say that being spiritual is better, then religious people are wrong. When we create a correct way to be, say with personal development, we create an incorrect way to be as well. When Buddhism teaches compassion, it also creates non-compassion. When something isloving, something else is not loving. If we have the truth, everyone else is deluded. If all white people are better, others must be worse.

The factual difficulty with such polarised systems (which too are part of the absolute it being the source of the relative) is that they create the very problem they are trying to solve. They turn on itself by polarising others. This cannot and will never work. In effect, they alienate someone, somewhere, in order to make things better when it is the absorption in alienation itself that is the real issue.

It can appear I am doing that, too, here; not so. In my world, all this is the very same thing that is the love of the absolute; it is relative to nothing.

Thus, we see the very root of all of humanities issues – that hate arises in the subject – the hater – often under the guise of being correct or in the name of love. Of course, to someone experiencing t, bliss it is experienced that the source is at the root of all these behaviours and ways, the opposite side of the coin with no opposite sides. It is.

The subtle difference when being and finding that absolute within is that nothing is hinged on the relative within or outside. The absolute is  no matter what. There is nothing to really cling to. It is as much  words on this website as it is anything else, and it is not in that way it is itself and not even itself. It is the absolute reality as well as the non-absolute, relative, reality. It exists as well as not exists, quite obviously, as well as totally unobviously, too. It can be totally clung or thrown away, believed in, understood or not, and is still all of that and also not. This is the perfect imperfect, wholly contradictory, yet wholly non-contradictory, mind of the absolute, the absolute reality. Ultimately, nothing in the relative effects it, only absorption in the relative appears to.

Q. What should be done with your method to reach the absolute you?

A. Understand it, experience it, use it to take you to peace, and then consider rejecting it too as your own delusion, before it becomes a thorn in your own mind. The method is not the experience, the experience is the experience, and that is all that is true.

Once rested in the bliss of the absolute, you are at the destination that you travelled your own tightly woven path to. When you get there, you find there are many other travellers that have already got there but that were invisible to you, of course, until you arrived. It’s like being on Google maps, you can now zoom out from the location, and you see, that many, many paths lead to this very same place. Your way was just one way, unique to you, and maybe in some ways similar to others. Perhaps there have never been two exact same paths to this land of bliss. It was never the case of you having to take one path or another or one path being more right that another; your path just unfolded.

Q. If you experience an absolute “you” and a relative “you,” surely that is separation still, and dualistic, so not the ultimate truth that must be non dual?

A. Not at all. By experiencing the relative “you” and the absolute “you” as totally independent as well as the relative being dependent, but unable to effect the absolute, you create real oneness, total and utter harmony of the non dual (absolute) and dual (relative) as one. All confusion and separation ends.

Q. What is the most important lesson the experience of the absolute and relative can teach you?

A. That there is a very deep unconditional, blissful, and absolute love at the centre of all beings.

Q. Describe how absorption in the relative can appear to mask the absolute.

A. Within the individual mind, through reactions to itself, wound up as itself these actions such as nervousness, anxiety, fear and stress can seem to exist as their own source, which causes suffering as the sole reality. Being absorbed in the absolute within their source allows these things to come and go whilst the experience of the bliss of the absolute remains.